I feel confused but also hopeful. I wonder where I will be later this year, next year, later on. I hope I will always have a pair of red pants. And always remember that I can make a chia pudding for the next day, to increase my chances of happiness.

          i like direction the back of this bus smells like chemical strawberries if you take everything left of my left foot and the sky you could measure a lot           i like direction losing is like running with your backpack on running for the strawberry bus […]

i like it when it rains i remember i am not that much i like it when it storms i imagine its current rip through the bottom of my left foot exit wound middle top of my head it’s probably too cliche at this point right? to say: “i’m mostly not afraid of death anymore” […]

Sometimes the weight of all the years of life so far lived collapse onto the uncertainty and possibility of all the rest of the years and then you look out to see the sun is setting again and it looks the same as tomorrow’s except all the clouds are different. Illusory endings of chunks of […]

when you think of someone with a mental illness, do you think of someone with a lesser degree of control? do you think of someone who cannot feel their own brain starting to turn on them? do you picture someone who doesn’t help themselves? i don’t know what you think, but if you have the […]

there is a difference between someone wanting to know how to touch you, and someone who believes they will be able to see themselves better, in this process of touching you. one is dark and sweet-smelling red, the other a faked and fragmented deep blue. is there a difference between a doctor in a mental […]

i know there are different ways to measure recovery, in the domain of mental illness. i know it may sound like i am belittling the potential capacities of measurement points when i decide that “beginning to feel attracted to people again” is a way that i have chosen to tell the time. but then, i […]

at the psych ward they give you a pair of royal blue socks they give you a pair of royal blue socks with slip-proof rubbery dots on the bottom at the psych ward they lock my wallet and i have to sign out my phone when i need to use it they take away my […]

A girl sits at her computer. A girl sits at her computer next to her mother. A girl sits at her computer next to her mother while her mother points at which flight is cheapest for her to take back to 大连. She wants to be back to spend the lunar new year with her […]

In each first-time human interaction, a brand new space in the world gets opened up by two people. The people can choose what to do with it. They can nurture it. One of them or both of them can think nothing of it. They can be gentle with it. They can abandon it. But regardless […]